Life

Bravery it is

The foreign feeling of spending the holidays without some (or all) of the loved ones we normally surround ourselves with, can come and sit on your shoulders like a lead jacket. Does it make it any easier to know that most humans on Earth also had to suspend their patterns and forgo the lovely feeling of seeing their family?

Bravery it is

A Place For You

Perhaps there’s a problem with being THAT productive when the lights are on, because it has felt so easy to be numb and motionless when they go off. If I had more to do, maybe I’d have difficulty allowing myself to get dizzy with dark and velvet thoughts.  

A Place For You

Standing Still

I've begun the process of rounding out my third decade on this planet. And nothing I have done seems to have cemented me as a successful adult, or dependable human. It's a frightening conclusion for one's mind to achieve.

Standing Still

Speaking My Language

The more of yourself you feel you have the ability to put into the words you intertwine, the clearer the liquor will be. Distill it. Soak the wooden pages in your voice. A detachment from brain to ink is extremely effortless to spot, and disingenuous phenomenology is a terribly tough chew.

Speaking My Language

The Unsaid

People walk by. The kind of people I pray don't approach me with their version of “tantalizing conversation”. The only ambient noise being the briskly paced traffic that comes and goes like waves on the beach, however unlike the tired ocean they grow further apart as time passes.

To the Moon and Alone

I can still picture the face of ten-year-old Derrick Lamb, as our ignorantly despondent elementary school teacher informed him that his desire to reach the moon was a bit of a farfetched idea. It began a destructive conversation, that ultimately ended in Derrick changing his mind.

To the Moon and Alone

An Old Man Dances

We've become accustomed to making decisions as individuals, based on the preconceived notions of our people as a collective. Dissolving the essence of each person as single entities in doing so.

An Old Man Dances

The Odd Art of Inspiration and It's Irony

Whether it's inspiration in the real world, or inspiration through someone else's creations, these flights of flattery, that we think another anything is good enough, neat enough, different enough, that we immediately want to create out of some sort of ritualistic sacrifice. Like an ode, or grave flower on the headstone of someone we probably don't even know.

The Odd Art of Inspiration and It's Irony

Phenomenolapology

When approached by a stranger, a reader, a friend, or loved one about my addiction to phenomenology, I lack the proper words to reach that point where one person understands the other. At an alarmingly sad average.

Phenomenolapology

How to Publish Nightmares

But here I sit, staring at three --  ... no... four now --  drafts just waiting to be published. And I am struck by a fear I haven't felt in a long time. That this isn't a safe place for me anymore. What could have caused it? Where did I go wrong? Fuck...

How to Publish Nightmares

How my need to be creative boils.

I am standing in the bathroom at work. My head is dizzy. My knees weak. I’m not sure why but there is no breath in my lungs. There’s a tick in the back of my mind that forces me to continue plodding along the current path I’m on, hoping — no, praying — that something comes along to free me from this cage I’ve gone and locked my own-damned-self in. 

How my need to be creative boils.

Welcome to the Club

I've spent all day waiting for the moment that I can get this out of me and it's turning into a waterboarding session. I can't seem to find my footing. No matter how many times I attempt to start a new thought. A million screams to try and decipher. One peeks through.

When the Laughter Dies

O Captain! My Captain!

Yesterday... oh man. I can hardly tolerate the lump in my throat long enough to commence jotting down these words. Yesterday, the world lost a legend. A man whose quick wit and graceful punch lines twisted the guts of endless people. 

When the Laughter Dies

Too Weird to Live

When I do happen to survive the war and reach my destination chair, I feel more haunted than normal. I sit blankly entranced by the blinking text marker, waiting to be beaten to a pulp by the inferior words I had just deleted. Depleted I press the lids of my eyes closed as hard as I can.

Too Weird to Live