Breaking Parasocial

I like to talk. Surprised?

Whether it is philosophizing or my adoration for being a perpetual contrarianism, discussions at any length have become one of the greatest joys in my life. Yes, there was a time when I was inundated with a male ego that played in perpetuity to the era in which I grew up. For a while, writing in whichever form I played best at the moment, was my only expression. To my friends and acquaintances, I was a quiet and imposing force.

In the years since, I have rebuked any status that comes with both my size, my status, or any preconceived notions about my personality based on my appearance. The majority of that comes in the form of speaking softly, listening intently, and being horrifically over-aware of my physical form. I walk as quietly as I can through the house, I am retrospective twice as much as I enforce opinions. Yet, those in my everyday vicinity would say that I am awfully opinionated.

A practice – as someone that has seen some things, and feels capable of speaking into emotions with empathy – that I have attuned to in my recent decade, is maintaining a reputation as someone people can talk to.

Coinciding with that desired label, I have been playing a hell of a lot of the video game KIND WORDS. By “playing”, I mean “living within,” as it is more of an avenue than a gaming experience. Accompanied by soft and wonderful lo-fi music playing on your in-game stereo, you (the player) sit at your desk and are given the tools to either reach out to other players with a request for a kind response to any of your issues or respond to those who have lofted requests into the ether. It is a complementary system. One that barks and denies negativity through in-game moderation and flagging systems. It is a designed world to exemplify kindness from strangers and autonomous people from all over the world.

If you need a personal touch, you can ask for it. However, if you have some respect and opinion to give, you can respond to other’s needs. Truly, it is a beautiful circle.

With that said, the majority of my time in the game is spent on grounding other’s concerns, in reality, sharing kindness, and providing some sort of comfort for everyday problems that plague humans of all kinds. It is a point of pride for me, something I take very seriously, and I want to do more.

So, I am going to provide a place on here — my website – in which readers can reach out to me with concerns or problems in any variation of vagueness, and I will do my absolute best to provide viable advice and a calm approach to issues big and small.

Opening the floor …

How would you like to be addressed?

Name/Pseudonym

This does not have to be your real name. Simply something I can safely address you by.

First Name

Last Name

Question

Description

There are going to be a few ground rules we should abide by in order to keep anonymity and sanity intact. I know, I know … rules! I just want to be clear and upfront with you all.

1. I will not require a name. You can still provide me with one. Even just a nickname, or a pseudonym, if you wish to be addressed by something specific. Or, you can select to submit anonymously.

2. Pose a question. I love stories, and I would be incredibly intrigued to read your stories. However, I’ll need your help to get a response off the ground, and posing some sort of question will allow me to build off of that premise for my answer.

3. Understand that there may be a chance that I either lack the available bandwidth to get to your message or perhaps I simply do not feel able to contribute a worthwhile response. Part of me hopes that even if I do not have a clear answer, I will still be able to find the time to respond to your submission behind closed doors. However, reality prohibits me from making this promise

4. This is to help connect us, hopefully, get your troubles heard – even if just by a stranger like me – to assist in sorting through the thoughts, and most importantly give you the understanding that you are not alone.

I like to talk. Surprised?

This me now prioritizes listening first. And maybe using my experiences in life to give comfort, or something similar, to you.

“...most people in the world don't really use their brains to think. And people who don't think are the ones who don't listen to others.” ― Haruki Murakami, 1Q84

When I began writing in this cadence – some twelve years go now – it was an outlet for that creature inside my brain that always shook at the mic, and took his turn in the spotlight with vague antithetical minimalism. Over the decade and some, I have heard from many of you, and you are always so kind and intricate with your thanks or praise. It has become an unequal paradox.

You know a bit about me—more of me than nearly everyone I’ve ever kept at any distance throughout my life—but I know very little about you. You have been here for my struggles. More so than my successes—because for some reason I am more comfortable sharing a shortcoming than celebrating a failure—and I have learned to appreciate some things about the syntax our relationship has built.

There wasn’t a moment in my adolescence when I thought it was safe to share everything. From tip to toe. That is a product of my surroundings, my megalomania, my narcissism, and many uncontrollable aspects of growing up.

Somewhere along the road, large swaths of armour plating flaking the highway behind me, and still in one piece (thankfully), I sit here today unafraid to share what I want, and what I feel inside. Even if the time is completely inappropriate.

I like to talk. Surprised?

Maybe I can use that incessant need to put a word or cough four-hundred cough to your troubles, as I know that just one true thing can make all of the difference sometimes.

Talk soon.

- WF.